I'm still alive. I've really wanted to update the blog earlier but the truth is that I've had so many other things - like my finals - to do that I haven't been able to concentrate on blogging. Pretty much the only pastime I've had I've spent talking to Kyle on Skype. There's been days that we've talked for over 5 hours and the others that we've been able to talk less than an hour. Luckily not that many of them.
We got a comment a while ago that had a link to a song that's later become the song I rely on when I'm feeling down and when I miss him more than usually. It's done some getting used to Finland again and it feels like nothing matters anymore. The last thing I wanna do is to be right here right now. It was hard to leave U.S and it didn't get any easier with time.
My days have gone pretty much the same since I got back. I go to school in the morning - or to work on weekends - then I come home, cook and do my homework waiting for Kyle to wake up and get on skype. The rest of the night goes by talking to him. I remember the time when I waited for him to call me at night when I was still in U.S. It's the same again. I get anxious if he doesn't come early and start thinking about all the possibilities that could have happened if he's late. Then I start thinking about what if he didn't come at all. Of course most of the time the reason is that he was still asleep or he had something important to do. They say that the time goes by slowly waiting and I totally have to agree with that.
I can imagine Kyle reading this post and laughing at me. He can tell when I'm not thinking what I'm writing because at some points it doesn't make any sense. It's just my thoughts straight from my head to the paper. He's different, he has to think so much before he writes anything and it makes him write slow. Of course his writing is better in result but I just can't bring myself into thinking about what I'm writing too much. Sometimes I do but most of the time I just write.
Kyle always wants to know what's in my head and he doesn't like it when I say: "nothing". Now I thought I'd just write about what's in my head. I hope he can understand at least some of it. Maybe he'll also realize that there's really nothing exciting going on in my head. Just trailing thoughts that don't make any sense. And I really lost my originaly subject. Which I had none, to be honest. I just felt I wanted to write something. The point was that I miss him and I only got to talk to him today for 2 hours and I was really tired when we were talking so I would've wanted to talk to him longer. Now I'm gonna stop writing because this really doesn't make any sense. Peace and good night.
Love, May
I think it made a little bit sense : )
ReplyDeleteI mean, if u are in love, ur thoughts aren't usually very smart or logical :)
I know what you mean, going through the whole long-distance thing... I was always waiting for the man to get online and my family thought I was crazy and didn't have any regular relationships but only the one online... whenever I was doing something else, it was still all I could think about. Thankfully I didn't have to do it for two years like you two, but I wish the best of luck to you both!
ReplyDeleteWhen I talked with my best friend once and we were talking about being in love, we both agreed that people in love usually aren't big philosophers. ;)
ReplyDeleteHowever I get what you mean :)
emmiina, haha. I agree. :D
ReplyDeleteSanni, that's exactly how it feels. Luckily my family doesn't see it because I live alone.. Thank you a lot! :)
Elean, haha. That might be true!
emmiina, I probably shouldn;t write what I first thought but I agree, it did make sense :)
ReplyDeleteSanni, thanks. I live with my family still so whenever I get up and instead of doing the things I usually do, I get ready and check if Marika is on. I usually go biking, or plan activities or get things accomplished so now my entire family gets on my case about talking on the computer so much. It's not like I enjoy sitting down all day in front of a computer but it's the only way to talk with May so I do it.
Elean, good call.
May, I admit I laughed for a while after reading this but only because you are so cute! I don't want to make you wait any more than is absolutely necessary :D Do you really think I'm worth the wait? OK, I already know what you're going to say..."do you really think I'd wait for you if I didn't think so?" If you only knew how much I look forward to being "us" again. Besides us being madly in love, hanging out with eachother is great, and often so funny to look back and laugh at. Don't forget how much I love you. I agree, I like that song too. It fits well.
Btw, usually you ask someone to be your best friend before you go off telling everyone...I might have to think it over.
Kyle, Yeah right. I knew you'd laugh about it. I wasn't gonna say that, I would've said "I don't know"... ...And then I would've said that. ;) I love you too, I wish we could be "us" right now. <3
ReplyDeleteBabe, I don't know how you guys do it in U.S but here we never ask people to be our best friends. It's just clear anyway. ;) Plus I thought you think the same way...