Words between the lines...Thoughts between the memories

I never asked to meet May, in fact I never expected it at that track meet. What I didn't realize at first is now so clear to me. I always try to remember when I pray to thank Heavenly Father for the things He's blessed me with. I also sometimes find myself asking for the opportunities I need to grow. I've prayed for many things, but recently I've realized that meeting May was anything but coincidence.

This exotic, beautiful, smart, funny, classy, young lady was in reality, an answer to my prayers. After some time, I have realized that I did ask for her. The Lord gives us opportunities, sometimes blessings while others are trials that require us to make choices. We need trials to grow because it allows us to stretch ourselves. We learn many things but until we are tested on the material, it seems like useless knowledge. I'm not saying meeting May was a trial but what I am saying was that the timing of the blessing gave me the opportunity to make a lot of choices.

When Marika came into my life, it was great. We were both in High school and really hit it off(I'll write more about this later). It was sweet to see how well we got along. Soon after, May had to return home. It was difficult because of the difference in our lives and for the sake of time, our cultures. We were used to different lives which were thousands of miles apart. I had just fallen in love with her though. What were we supposed to do? I planned on going on a mission and May still had to finish school. I don't blame her for ending it when she did, but I didn't expect it nor did I want it. The time after we broke up was really hard for me. I am obviously not May so I wont try to speak for her. I can however share with you the experience I had.

We both tried to move on...not so much by desire but more because of theory and thinking. You've heard how it was hard for Marika, so now you can take a walk in my shoes. I had such control over my life. I knew my goals and dreams. I even started preparing for the life I sought to make. Then that exotic, smart, funny, pretty young lady ran by my view and I couldn't stop my gaze. I was fixed. No sooner was that view gone, but only in real life...It only took a few clever notes of a song to bring me to a sweet memory...or a quiet moment for that smiling face to fill my thoughts. Everywhere I turned brought her back to me, but everywhere I looked, I couldn't find her...

I thought, prayed, read, sang, cried, I even wrote poems. I just assumed she didn't feel the same as I felt. How could she after doing this? I wanted so much for us to be together. We talked but not enough for me to say anything serious. What could I offer to her anyway? I was leaving, I had no money or time to offer. I could only give my feelings and I didn't think that was enough. I couldn't make her stay, because it's her choice. I had to let her go. Not that I wanted to but because it would be selfish to ask her to stay.

The time went by and I couldn't stop it.

May came here :) Those times we had with eachother are some of the most precious moments in my life. I know I want them again. I want her again. I know I have something I am going to do but I know that it will make me more of the person I want to be. The person who will be ready to face all of life's challenges. The person who is ready to give when others only seek to take. I want to make people happier and when I have experienced a life of serving, I can't wait for the day I have someone to be with me every step of the way. Someone who I can enjoy every moment of life we have :) but it's a choice I can't make alone.
I love you May.

Love, Kyle